Awww...

Look at my babies!!!

Matt and I saw the most amazing sunset last night. It wasn't quite as glorious as the one in the picture, but still.

I had quite the awakening yesterday. I was reading blogs and noticed that Angie had some links on the bottom of hers. So I clicked on one, curiosity got the best of me.

At first I was shocked that Angie would have such a link. This man is clearly NOT a believer, or rather, he was, but is now an atheist. After telling myself to get over my prudishness, I kept reading. I was intrigued. This man went to several seminaries and was ready to go into the pastorate. Several things drove him and his wife away from the church and God. Reading his arguments with the Christian faith, his beliefs on gay Christians (he's all for them), and his beliefs on atheism.....wow. I read some of the stuff to Matt and he pulled up a chair and read it with me. It was nothing if not thought provoking. This is just one example of a person who refutes the teachings we hold as dear. Would I be able to argue with him??? Would I be able to convince him that the bible is the ultimate truth?? That he will go to hell??? Probably not. Which really made me stop and evaluate where I am. Jesus gave us the Great commission. Does that mean I only share my faith with people who come into my church??? This man is very intellectual, but if God wanted me to, could I share with him as well? Serious stuff to think about.

Sorry about the partial sentences, just typing my thoughts!

Hot and bothered

First of all, thanks to all of you who commented on my previous post. It created quite the stir with the hubby. He has now consented to see it with me and judge it afterwards. (We had the same fight regarding Harry Potter:) ) Interesting to see how all of you feel about that subject.....

Now I'm hot. It is so hot and our small group decided it would be a great night to head to the local park and cook out. I'm all for cook outs, but not when it is 93 degrees! I do not handle the heat well. Add to that the fact that we were at the park where there are great playthings for the kids. Well they picked a spot that was very far way from the play area. GRR! So we either had to be away from the group at the park with the kids or trying to stay and eat with the group while yelling at the children to not go to the park. AAAAHHHH! After about 20 minutes of this, I announced we were going home. Everyone looked surprised. I wanted to say, "I'm sorry that you all have 2.5 children that are well behaved and sit still for hours on end. But since we have crazy, wild children, we'll be leaving now." I know that part of my frustration is the heat, it alters me. Some of it is also from having four children. Two other women in our group kept saying, "I don't know how you do it with four kids!" Well, you just do... When will I stop feeling condemed by people for having four kids????Another part of it is the poor planning of our group. And we haven't been able to get together in months because of everyone's crazy summer schedules so I was really looking forward to catching up with everyone. Ah well. Guess it'll have to wait.
*big sigh* Just checked the weather, supposed to be 95 all week. great.

Obsession

I'm addicted. There's just no getting around it. When I read Misty's blog about Rent coming out as a movie, I had mixed feelings. There was a time in my life when I declared the musical morally corrupt. However, I decided to view the trailer, just to see. I'm hooked. It's in my favorites and I watch it at least once a day. Which has caused some "intense fellowship" with my husband. Let me give you a little history.

Music is a part of my life. My parents were both theater majors in New York. So growing up there was musis everywhere. As a young girl I couldn't understand my my little friends didn't want to watch Calamity Jane or Oklahoma. It was jsut part of who we were. Then my music styles changed and adapted as I grew and I found that I loved some secular music. However, at the time, my parents forbade my brother and I to listen to secualr music. *sidenote- it seemed very hypocritical at that time to me , given their background. We have since worked through that! Anyway, when I met Matt he was a sold out believer. He didn't lsiten to anything besides CCM and some christian alternative. We struggled with this issue. And I believe it will be something that we disagree on forever. Some of the strongest believers I know listen to secular music, not exclusively, but still. There is just some music, Christian and non, that touches my soul. It gives me goosebumps. And Matt has changed somewhat, he now accpets these things about me, to some extent. He has also lost some debates on this subject. It's just hard when I want to see this movie so much even though I know the plot is morally bankrupt (what movies aren't these days??) but the music...oh the music.....

So how do I be submissive and get my own way?!?!?!?!?!

Much randomness

Not really one thing to blog about, just thought I blog about a lot of little things :)

conversation between my daughter Molli and her cousin Mackenzi...(heard through the window)
Molli: Kenzi, you're a meanie!
Kenzi: No, I'm not!
Molli: yes you are!
Kenzi: Fine! Shut up! Now I'm a meanie!

Yes, I believe the cousins have had enough of each other. These little petty fight have been cropping up constantly. Which is so sad to me because this is their last chance to be together before they move to Alaska. But I guess you can't force all eight of them to get along all the time.

WE took all eight to Sears to have pictures taken for my mom. Can't even come up with a word to describe the experience. I would just like to kiss the photographer who was so very patient. The pictures came out great and we all escaped alive, enough said.

I keep thinking at the end of every week that the next week will go back to normal. I have now concluded that summer holds absolutely no normalcy whatsoever. so I've given up that fantasy.

And my last thought. It is 8:30 AM and my children are still asleep!!!!!! God is good!

Update

The world didn't end....I was sure it would when I posted last. But strangely enough life has soldiered on. The dog will live, the cousins stayed, and all is well. I tend to over-react. :)

The cousins all leave to day and I have to say, minus the dog incident, it was a pretty fantastic weekend. Other than the fact that I have a killer swimmer's ear infection so I'm back on the Vicoden...(vicious cycle). But everyone had a great time and we all broke out calendars to plan this again for next summer.

Tigger and Jill are here till Friday and my other set of grandparents arrive tomorrow so there's still some level of craziness. Cuz after all, where would we be without a little insanity????

Happy Fourth of July!

Crying

OK so I will try and write this blog, but I'm crying pretty hard so there might be typos......

So this is our big family weekend. My cousins all came into town to surprise my aunt and grandparents. One of my cousins and his wife almost didn't come because they couldn't find anywhere to board their dog. I assured them that it would be ok, my mom and dad have a dog. No biggie. So they came. Well you must know that my mom's dog was almost killed twice by my grandpa's german sheperd. So he's somewhat skittish. Well my cousin's dog is slightly hyper and mom's dog was not happy. Well tehy got into a fight and my cousin's dog got hurt. So Mom was furious wit hme for telling them they could bring the dog. And now my cousins are going home. I ruined everything.....I'm so upset right now. My keyboard is covered in tears....How could I take something so special and ruin it for everyone? I quickly left mom's house because I was so upset and my children were hysterical because we were going to do fireworks tonight. So they're upstairs crying themselves to sleep. So now I've ruined their weekend too. I can't type anymore.

For my pal Mindy

Now most of you who red this blog think I am talking about Mindy Schoeb.....actually I have another friend named Mindy. Mindy Hubbard. And this blog is dedicated to her.

It has always been a struggle for me to make friends. In high school, I only had guy friends becasue the stupid, pettiness of high school girls made me crazy. I finally met my first best friend in college. Jocelyn, I love you! Man, I miss you......(she's a missionary in Bosnia.....) Anyway, since I've been married, I haven't really had any close friends. We didn't live by anybody that was close to our age, or didn't have children or we jsut didn't mesh. So when we moved back to Michigan I was praying like crazy that God would prepare someone to be my friend. A real friend. *sidenote- when I say prepare someone, I mean it. My friends need preparing to deal with me :) Ok, so I knew the youth pastor and his wife from our visits to see mom and dad. I knew she was a few years older than me. Her son Tristan is the same age as Molli and her other son Cole is a few months older than Sydney. So we had that in common. Matt and her husband Tim were instant friends. So I prayed and prayed that she would be it. And she was. We have gotten close. Real even. My dad preached on Sunday aobut relationships and friendships and that true friendships face adversity and triumph. I immediately sought her out afterwards to have our first fight!!! So this blog is in tribute to her. My friend.

whew

ok............it's over. I have relinquished the extra children to their parents and I can breath once again. I adore my nieces and nephews. But 8 at once......never again. I hugged my brother hello and sid, "I love your children but I won't ever volunteer to watch all of them again for any length of time!" He laughed. Last night my own four went to bed like angels and all was well.

God did teach me a couple of things, through the chaos. 1. "Whatever you do for the least of these....." My children and theirs need to see Jesus in me. YIKES! That's a tall order. Meaning that every word that comes out of my mouth has to be thought about before spoken. That I must convey love always. That I am not allowed to just lose my temper and have it spill all over them. Ok, Lord....2. That His mercies are new every morning....even when I was at my wits end at night, I went to sleep (albeit very late and I was so grouchy and angry), that when I woke up it was an entirely new day. And His mercies were new and fresh and waiting for me to grab onto. Thank the Lord!!

Meanwhile, it's still ungodly hot, the children are become more fish like every day in the pool, the family all arrives this weekend for a blow out party, and I get to see my brother for a whole week and a half. YEEHAW!

This is hard

This was an amazing exercise to think through.....


The top 10 songs which have affected your life literally: (not in any order)
1.) "Shout to the Lord" Darlene Zchech
2.) "I will be here" Steven Curtis Chapman
3.) "If you could see what I see" (Matt sang this to me at our reception)
4.) "Kokomo" Beach Boys (yeah I know.....)
5.) All of the Mary Poppins soundtrack
6.) "An evening in December" First Call (Tigger and I used to dance and dance to this song)
7.) "Believe" Josh Groban
8.) "Be unto your name" Robin Mark
9.) "As the Deer" ??
10.) "Much of you" Steven Curtis Chapman


The top 10 places which have affected your life literally:
1.) South Lyon, Michigan (1987-1991)
2.) Mancelona, Michigan (1991-1998)
3.) Pittsburgh, PA
4.) Cornerstone College
5.) A room at AuSable Institute
6.) Cedar Bend Farms
7.) Milford, Nebraska
8.) The interstate between Milford and Battle Creek
9.) Grandma's bedroom
10.) My loft in my dorm

the top 10 people who have affected or changed your life the most:
1.) Jocelyn Moraitis or Jocque rather
2.) Jane Destefano
3.) Mindy Hubbard
4.) Jonah, Molli, Emma and Sydney
5.) Matthew Kurtz
6.) Traver Goodrich
7.) Noah McGlynn
8.) Brynn Konopka
9.) Mike and Dodi McGlynn
10.) My siblings

The top 10 monumental moments of your life:
1.) September 1, 1993 (my entry into public school after homeschooling)
2.) March 17, 1997 (When I ran away)
3.) April 25, 1997 (when my parents brought me home)
4.) Fall of 97 (college)
5.) June 2002 (when we moved to Nebraska)
6.) August 9,1998 (wedding)
7.) July, 2000
.9.) February 18, 1999;December 3, 2000;April 21, 2002;March 4, 2004 (my kids)
10.) June 7, 1998

do you see the results of these things in your life today? incredibly so...

This is Morgan. Today has been a rough day for her. She has spent quite a bit of time in time out. This past time I snapped this shot of her being grumpy. As I was walking out of the room I heard her say, "I hate Aunt Mandi." Ah well, guess not everyone can be the favorite!

Grumpy

Last night

Ugh, it's morning already.....last night was disaster. We couldn't take the kids to the pool yesterday because it kept thundering on and off. So they spent the day trapped in my litle blue house. So by evening, they were bouncing off the walls. Markus figured out the lock on the fridge and dumped syrup, butter, and mayo all over the kitchen floor. So we loaded them up and went to Grandma's just for a change of scenery. By the time we got back it was time for bed. Yeah right. At 10:30 I was still trying to get them to sleep. I removed my children and sent them to their own bed and then everyone went to sleep, at 11! I was so tired and frustrated. I tried to go to bed myself. Well I lifted up the blinds that hang on the window over our bed and they came crashing down on my head. Great ending to a crazy evening. I headed back out to the living room ,fully intending to write a scathing blog about how grouchy, tired, and cross I was after all the events of the day. INstead, I sat in the lazyboy and cried and prayed. The Lord spoke peace to my heart about the kids. They are just kids and there will be times when they need to be crazy. And that this is just temporary. And I told him that one of my greatest desires is to see the cousins be close. There is so much to gain from having close family. He brought to my mind the very special things that I have seen them do this week. LIke watching them learn to play red rover (hilarious), watching them all learn to swim and play mermaids, cuddling with Markus who still calls me Mama, and so many more. So I went to bed with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.

Isn't God awesome?

And so it begins

Well I took Jill to the airport today. Jill is my sister-in-law. She's on her way to North Carolina to get my brother and head back up here for their final visit before moving to Alaska. So that means, from now till Tuesday, I am the mother of 8. Basically 4 sets of twins.... :)

They all get along really well. Other than bedtime, we should be fine! but pray for me if you think of it!

Onto other things, I am so tired of this heat. I finaly broke down and went out and bought a window air conditioner. We just couldn't take it anymore. Even now I think the kids will all have to sleep in the living room because it's just too hot upstairs to function. They all want to play up there so badly, but after five minutes, they come running back down with sweat just running off their little faces. Ugh. Lord, please send some relief soon!!!

these were taken this afternoon. We made all the cousins take a break from the pool. So they all came inside, protesting the whole time that they were NOT tired. five minutes later the living room looked like these pictures. Guess they were a little more tired than they thought!


and even more....

more tired ones 

So tired 

Ok, I figured it out. What I have done are colored purple and things I'd like to do are red....



01. Been a foster or adoptive parent-no, but want to adopt
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive-does a porsche count?
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said I love you and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa- u can't walk them, but visited several times
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment (my wedding!)
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Danced in the rain
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors That is Ireland!!!!
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts-except for the last 6 months
51. Taken care of someone who was totally plastered
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends-have is more accurate
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing-
60. Taken pictures of complete strangers
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland-no, but I REALLY REALLY WANT to (where my ancestors are!)
64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
65. Bought food for a stranger
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a goat
69. Alphabetized your records-
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day-not by choice, LOL
73. Been in a movie
74. Tried scuba diving
75. Been to Lililth fair
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78 Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Have Regrets
81. Been to Tijuana
82. Discovered that someone whose not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Been a bully or been bullied
89. Camped out all night for a show, movie, or beanie baby
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Breastfed more then a year
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Lied about your age
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Eaten snake
103. Stayed somewhere different then what you told your parents
104. Had a poem published
105. Don't know what this one was
106. Been intimate in a public place
107. Ran a red light-still do....oops
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Shoplifted
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen The Cranberries live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Read every book in the Bible
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children-currently raising
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. Ran in a marathon
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge- driven it only
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
.140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds-my goal
142. Held someone while they were having a seizure-my husband held me, does that count?
143. Piloted an airplane-
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Sent a message in a bottle
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery- LOL
159. Had s*x on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet- NEVER!!
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Hunted an animal
170. Eaten sushi
-171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Been in a car accident
173. Are an organ donor
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Ridden an elephant
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Given gifts or notes as a secret pal
181. Met an online friend
182. Bought a homeless person a meal
183. Been to Mardi gras1
84. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating- does fish count?
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office-no, but would like to
190. Seen a dead person that you didn't know
191. Slept on the beach
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Taken in a stray animal
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Been born again
199: Watched a whole film in a foreign lanuage
200: Been arrested

Ok that took forever, and I have no one to Tag.....ah well!

A housewarming poem

Tonight we have gathered
At your new home to bless
This place to be filled with friends, family and occasionally mess. (occasionally?!?!?!) *editor side note :)

Wanting to share something
I was asked to give a "verbal gift".
the kind that costs nothing
Except my attempt at wit!

Looking up to God with
Gratitude and deep faith
He has always provided
Now a place of your own, a place to feel safe.

I give to you a sense
of friendship and understanding
Knowing life brings many things
Rewarding and demanding.

My wish for you is that
He guide your steps and days
Bringing you love, peace, joy
Along the way.

Written by Kimberly Batterson as a gift for our housewarming.

So nice

Today was a good day. I cleaned like a mad woman all day. My house was imaculate, from top to bottom.

Tonight, our friends decided to throw us a housewarming party. It was so awesome. We crammed 25 people into our little blue house. We went all through the house and they had arranged to have specific people pray for each room, to bless it. I almost cried, it was so cool. Then we ate together and just hung out. Everyone brought gifts. It was so amazing. We have never gone to a church where we have felt so loved! And it wasn't just because my dad is the pastor.....these are our friends......so cool.

So now I have a clean house, the kids are asleep and it's cooling off. Tomorrow the cousins return........a good day.

For Kelli

Kelli oh Kelli where are you? I have missed your blogs, wondering if you've been eaten by your brood of little rabbits in your garage.....come back, Kelli.......

Monday

WEll it's Monday....sad story to tell about last night.

We celebrated Father's Day at my mom and dad's house, wonderful dinner (that I couldn't eat of course!) Then we went to a bonfire at the church. We got home around 8 PM. Matt and I put the kids to bed, I took some more medicine and I clicked on the TV. Within minutes, I was asleep. Matt came a few moments later and woke me up. He was headed to bed as he has to get up at 3AM. So we went to bed. I was dead asleep by 8:30 PM and I slept till 7 AM!!!!!!! Think I was tired???!?!?!?!?!?! I wish I could say I felt rested, but I am still under the Vicodin spell, man when will my mouth heal?? Not only that, but I now have a yeast infection from taking the heavy duty antibiotics. SO this jsut keeps gettting better and better!

Oh man....

Ok I've decided that if I ever had something happen and I could no longer cheew, I would just end my life!!!! Ihate drinking food. There are very few options..I'm so tired of smoothies and ice cream and pudding and jello. Ick. I want a Whopper so bad!!! Anything I can chew would be good! My face feels puffy and, if my meds wear off, I can definetly feel it.

Just a sidenote, I love it when doctors tell me that I need to "take it easy...not do too much...no picking up children.....LOL. Whatever, that's all I have to say about that.

We managed to go to Wal-Mart today so that's a bonus. I do feel very tired. I hate how Vicodin makes me feel loopy. A small price to pay for no pain! Thanks again for al lthe encouragement you guys! I appreciate it!

I made it!

WEll here I am, four teeth less. My chin and lower lip feel like they stick about 18 inches from my face. No pain yet, thank goodness. I don't remember a thing about the operation besides the gas and the iv. So God is good. So far so good. We'l lsee how tomorrow goes. Thanks for all the encouragement and prayers!

Worried

WEll it's 6:30 AM on Friday morning. In about two hours I will be going to sleep for my surgery. I'm starting to get really nervous about it. Everyone keeps telling me that it's no big deal. Well, I've never had anything like this done before! Plus, Matt won't be there which makes it harder for me. Thank you Angie for giving me hope though. Maybe it won't be as completely devastating as I think it will be. I'll try and blog when I get home, depending on how I feel and if I can keep my drool off of the keyboard!

Blogging about nothing

Truly, there is nothing of interest to blog about. Matt is home from work today and he let me sleep in till 8:30 which was so glorious. The humidity finally broke yesterday so sleeping last night was wonderful. We've literally been doing nothing today, but being together and jsut hanging out. It's great.

On a sidenote, thanks to those of you who have been praying for our friends. They met for the first time last night with my dad (he's the pastor of our church for those of you who don't know that!) and I saw her for a moment after it was over. I gave her a hug and asked how she was. She grinned at me (her old smile) and said, "Everything is really great." So praise the Lord for a small victory. I know the road to complete healing wil lbe a long one for them, but God is good and faithful. And I believe that He will honor their commitment to Him and to each other!

On yet another sidenote, I have all my wisdom teeth surgically removed on Friday. Ugh.

Tired

Yesterday was one interesting day. It started out completely normal; then general chaos of getting all of us up and ready for church. We don't have to drive there anymore of course so that saves some time! Anyway, went to church....Everything was going well. Wait, I need to give you some history first.....

Matt and I are a part of a small group. We started meeting when we were doing 40 Days of Purpose, it's been almost a year since then and we are still meeting every Sunday night. It has been so awesome to see how God has been working in our lives through this group. There are two other couples and our leader is a single guy and there's another single gal. So 8 of us total. They have proved to be so faithful to us...It's just awesome. Anyway, about 3 months ago, we were in the middle of doing a study and our leader broke down. He was really struggling with some things and needed us to listen and pray. It was kind of uncomfortable but awesome since it appeared that we were now going beneath the surface of the small group thing. Then about a month later it was my turn. You might remember my blog entry about that night at our small group meeting where God forced me to get real and share some secret struggles that I was having with my group. So God has been good, forcing us to get involved in each other's lives and help each other out. Little did we know just how deep we were going to go.

Back to present, yesterday morning. I was on the platform, getting ready to sing with the worship team. I glanced over the sanctuary looking for this gal who is our group. I spotted her husband, but didn't see her. When it was time for meet and greet, I saw her a made a beeline for her. The guy who is the leader of our group had spotted her as well and met me at her side. (He had, earlier in the week, come over and asked us to pray for her and her husband.) I could tell she had been crying so I asked, "What's going on?" She starts to cry harder. Then she shows us her ring finger, there are no wedding rings on it. He asks, "Did you lose them?" She shakes her head no. Then she says, "I'm leaving him (her husband). I have a lump in my breast and an abnormal pap smear. I think I'll be moving to Texas." WHAT?!?!??!?!? I was devastated. This dark cloud come over my heart. I have never dealt with anything like this with someone I am close to.The leader and I looked at each other. There was nothing we could say right then, we were in the middle of the church service! I asked her to come home with us after church so we could talk some more. As I climbed the platform once again, I saw her sitting down. This woman can usually be described as completely joyful. She is just constantly bubbly. Yesterday she sat there stonefaced. It was awful. After church, she came over and we spent the afternoon talking. Our leader was there and he decided that he, Matt and the other man in our group would go to this couple's house and talk with the husband. So they did that and then we all gathered at our house. It was so hard. There was this....thing, just hanging out there. Well we talked for a while, anointed them and prayed, and they decided to seek help (professional as opposed to our non professional!) So God is good once again. However, it was so uncomfortable to know very personal things about other people that you care about. But I guess that's what small groups are supposed to do. I mean we could still just be meeting every week and doing our nice bible study and going home and never getting involved in each other's lives. But, and I'll use some lyrics here, if we are the Body, why aren't His arms reaching? We are called to do life together as the body, that means the crappy stuff as well as the good. So a very tiring, but successful day.

Heat

Oh man, it feels like we are back in Nebraska. Except, in Nebraska, we had central air. This past week has been so very hot. Our new house is wonderful but it is situated slightly weird. So we have no cross breezes which makes it even hotter. Praise the Lord that Mom and Dad have the pool or I would have gone insane! The heat alters me, it makes me short and grouchy with everyone. Grrrr.....

In other news, my kids are professional swimmers now. Jonah jumps in from the deep end and swims all the way to the shallow end. Molli isn't far behind, swimming underwater everywhere. I wonder if it's because she was born under water! Emma too is getting more and more brave, floating all over the pool in her floatie and trying to touch the bottom. Sydney has decided that she would like to be under the water at all times. She obviously doesn't know that this will result in death! She just walks right off the edge of the pool and hopes someone catches her. We have to watch her constantly, but truly, she isn't happy unless she's drowning. *sigh* They are all so tan already!! So here's to a summer spent swimming!

So pleased

Today is Jonah's last day of kindergarten. I watched him walk into the building today, stopping as he does every morning to turn around and blow me a kiss, and thought, "Where has the year gone??" He looks so different, mature somehow. Like someone who has had a taste of the world away from mom and dad. I remember how hard I cried on the first day of school, driving away and leaving him there. I remember how hard he cried for three weeks when I would take him to school. I remember how he finally got over that and started getting excited about going to school. I remember his first school friend, Riley. I remember when he said to me, "Mom, could I walk into the school by myself today because I really am getting bigger." So it has been a year....

I have a little apprehension about next year however. At our last conference with Jonah's teacher she expressed some concern on his speed of learning. He wasn't where he needed to be, she said. So we wrestled with what to do. Do we hold him back in kindergarten when all his friends will be in first grade? Do we send him to first grade with the knowledge that he might fail????? Well after a lot of praying and waiting, I think we will send him to first grade. His last report card showed improvement and we will spend very structured time this summer working on his slower areas. It's amazing to me (a sidenote) at how vigorous kindergarten has become. It used to be like playtime and the kids didn't start learning anything serious till first grade. Now, by the end of kindergarten, they must be able to write all the letters, small words, be able to read sight words, count to 100.......just seems a little stiff for a five year old. Oh well.

*sniff*

Last night I watched my baby brother march down an aisle to a ridiculously overplayed song in a stunning green cap and gown. To many this would seem a joyous occasion, one for celebration and truly, it is. But I still think of my "Bubba" as twelve years old, when he thought I was so cool.

Josh is one of the most tenderhearted people I've ever known. He loves so completely, so trusting. He is brillant with my kids and they adore him. But there is a part of me that wishes he had stayed twelve. I cried as he walked across the stage and received his diploma. Just a reminder that time marches on.....

And at last, the crazy weekend of graduation is over and life goes back to normal. Now I must go and drag Jonah out of bed with the constant reminder that he only has to do this for three more days. The last week of school is entirely useless in my opinion. Ah well.....

From the left: Morgan, Jonah(in front), Molli, Emma, Sydney(infront) Myca, MacKenzi and Markus
The cousins

Say Cheese! 

Cousins

This weekend has reminded me of how very precious cousins are. My sister-in-law Jill and their four kids arrived on Thursday night. My kids had been counting down the days till they got here. Their four are the exact smae ages as our four, minus a few months. They all have "m" names, MacKenzi, Morgan, Myca, and Markus. They are so stinking cute. Anyway.....

MacKenzi and Morgan have been sleeping at our house. They are all sleeping in the same room, not wanting to spend a moment apart. I love to stand underneath the little vent that goes up to that room and hear them talking and giggling. It just transports me.....

My cousins, Kari and Holly and I were so close growing up, especially Kari and I. We spent almost every summer together. We'd ahve endless nights of staying up late, giggling, just loving being around each other. I see those kind of relationships developing between our kids and Tigger's. It just breaks my heart that they will be moving to Alaska in about a month, so this is really the last time that they will have to be together for a long time. But they will have the summers to look forward to.

A side note: when applying sunscreen, especially when it's 85 degrees and you are by the pool, remember to put it on your legs! I forgot this important piece of information.....I made sure the kids were coated although they still got a little pink. I made sure it was on my face, my chest and shoulders. Well I forgot my legs. Let's just say that my legs resemble a lobster's back. Ouch. The kids have spent every waking moment in the pool. Man, oh man. They sure do love to swim.

Well time to go yell at the kids to stop their giggling (although I really don't want to!)

See that fan? that's Matt and I's room!!!!!! 

From the back door 

Our Blue House! 

"those kind of kids"

So I am writing this post with the desperate hope that there is someone else out there who has had this happen to them as well.....

Before I had children, I would go into a store. Let's use a hypothetical name like Wal-Mart. Ineveitably I would spot a mother with children where the children were dirty, wearing stained clothes and had runny noses. I would think to myself, "My children will NEVER look like that." (Nose in the air, walking away)

Fast forward 6 years.....

Yesterday I had to run to Wal-Mart, again the hypothetical store, to get one lousy thing. Well I was in such a hurry that I neglected to even glance at my children before we left. In their defense, they had been playing outside all day, it was very warm. It's not their fault that their mother is totally spontaneous. Anyway, we get to the store, I get all of them into the store in one piece. As I lean down to pick up Emma to put her in the cart, I hear whispers. One woman says to the other, "Good grief, they must be poor." "She can't even afford to wash them??" I was sdesperately hoping that they were talking about someone else. That's when I finally looked at the girls. Molli had on ripped pants, a too small shirt and shoes that were two sizes too big. SHe must have been sweaty at one point because there were dirt streaks all across her face where she had swiped at it. Emma's hair was....oh my. She also had the tell tale dirt marks all over her face. She also had no shoes. Sydney must have found some Cheetos right befor we left because they were plastered to her face and outfit. At this point I burst into tears feeling like the most unfit mother ever. So right there and then I vowed to never leave the house again. Well, maybe but everyone must shower and change their clothes before we go anywhere.

*twidling thumbs*

Man, I wish I had something cool to blog about! Truly there is just nothing note worthy to write about. I had my teeth cleaned this morning for the first time in 9 years. They were so bad, in fact, that I have to return 2 more times to complete the cleaning process!!! So, yeah that was fun. Now I am just waiting for Matt to arrive home so I can go and clean at church. So exciting....

I was thinking however about something Misty wrote this morning. Wuoldn't it be fun to have a party and invite all the gals who blog?? Like me, Mindy, Kelli, amy, Misty, and whoever else???

???

So here's the conversation between Jonah and I as I was picking him up from school on Friday:

J- Mom, is Sydney a boy or a girl?
Me- A girl.
J- Darn.
Me- (smiling) Why?
J- Cuz I want a brother. Mom, can I have a brother?
Me- (inwardly cheering and trying not to vomit at the same time) Well.......we would have to talk to Daddy.
J- Cuz if I had a brother we would be a whole family
Me- (trying not to cry at his wonderfully simplistic view of family and still trying not to vomit) Well buddy, I'll think about it, ok?
J- Ok, can I have ice cream?

So what do I think about that????

ONLINE

Finally, finally.......I have felt so cut off from the world without the internet. Alas it is a very sad commentary on our times, but what can I say? Now I find that it will take me hours to get caught up on everyone's blogs (especially yours Misty!). But we are back online in our new home. So now my life can resume it's normalcy. And American Idol is over so now my Tuesday and Wednesday nights can go back to normal as well. So here's an update on all the Kurtz news....

-Sydney is getting used to her new surroundings. She fought a valiant fight with the coffee table (she's not used to one) and lost. Now she's got a nice shiner. Am currently looking for cupboard locks to keep her out of everything. We got a baby gate for the bottom of the stairs. Makes life a little easier!

-I think we are all unpacked. Now comes the dailyness of cleaning stuff up.

-Matt and I have our own room!!!!!

-I cannot get used to the fact that people just "stop by"!!!!! AHHH! This means my front rooms must be picked up constantly. ugh.

-We had a HUGE problem with ants, the tenny tiny ones. They were everywhere, in our beds, the bathrooms, the kitchen. Gross. But they came and sprayed and little by little they are going away.

-My next door neighbor is a crazy, lonely woman. Think God put me here for a reason????

-Matt and I have our own room!!!!

-People think it's awfully convient that we live right behind the church, ie.
*ring* Hello?
" Hi Mandi, there are some people coming by tonight to do something at church. Could you let them in?"
"Sure"
*hang up*
Knock, knock
"Hi Mandi, I left my church keys at home, can you let me in?"
"sure."

- Matt and I have our own room!!!!

-I have all my pictures hung up and my manatee stuff hanging in the living room!!!!!!

- Matt and I have our own room!!!!!!!!!!

-And finally, this place is starting to feel like home. God is so good!

I think that's it for now!

VICTORY!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE MOVED!!!!!!! There were moments that I thought it would never happen. But it did....we are in! Saturday was a very crazy day, and we are still buried in boxes up to our eyeballs....but it's OUR house.Today and tomorrow will be crazy as well trying to find our lives. It was like Christmas unpacking boxes that had been buried for a year. God is so good.

The DSL won't be on at our new place till June 2nd so I'll be coming to mom and dad's probably every day to blog and such. But don't panic if I'm not on messenger every moment! that will happen again soon. :) Well back to unpacking......

Light

There is light at the end of the tunnel. A million thanks to my sister-in-law Kim who came for a day and a half and was such a HUGE help to me in my hour of need! We hauled all the bed, set them up, and made them. Quite a feat for one afternoon! We also attacked the attic and got quite a bit done. She also went and helped me clean at church. Kim, you are my hero!!!

On a side note, my teeth have gotten out of control. I have not been to the dentist in over 8 years. Before you scold me you have to know that we have not had dental insurnce so paying $150.00 to have my teeth cleaned just could not happen. So over the last week, the right side of my mouth has been bothering me. Finally, in the last two days it has gone from bad to excrutiating. Yesterday, I couldn't not chew on that side. It throbs constantly. It keeps me awake most of the night because Tylenol just doesn't help. So I finally called the dentist this morning. God is good because our benefits kicked in last week. So it was covered. Come to find out my far right wisdom tooth is so decayed that it's all the way down to the nerve! Yeah, ouch. The dentist said, "Do you want me to take it out right now?" Of course, I panicked. Then she said, "Well let me check your other wisdom teeth." Sure enough, they were all bad. So now I must go and have oral surgery to have them all removed. Yeah, because I have so much free time. They put me on Darveset which I hate because it makes me so foggy. But I don't really have a choice because the pain is so bad! Curse teeth....why did God think we needed them anyway????

ugh'
MAttreses and boxes, boxes and mattresses. Ugh. The moving continues. I'm so tired. My sinuses are draining, I have an impacted wisdom tooth that hurts like a son of a gun, Sydney is clinging like crazy.......boy will I be glad when this is over!

Speaking of Sydney, I think she can sense that something is going on. She has become so whiny and refusing to be put down. Which of course kills my already poor sense of getting things done. She just cries and cries which is totally not like her. ah yes, just another kink in the chain of moving.

I HATE MOVING

Ok it's official, I HATE PACKING. I hate moving. I hate everything about it. I hate organzing and putting things in boxes. I hate hauling boxes. I hate the feeling that no matter how many boxes I pack there is still an attic full of *&^%$ to move. Grrr. Where are the packing fairies? I do belive in fairies, I do, I do. It will never end. Save me......

Hmmm

Today was Jonah's big field trip to the zoo. I had promised him at the beginning of the year that I would go on a field trip with him and his class before the end of the year. He's been waiting for this day since the last week of April. Strike 1: It was 40 degrees this morning when we woke up! (picture me, admist packing our lives digging for hats and mittens!) Strike 2: Getting everyone up and out of the house by 7:30 AM! and Strike 3: I get grouped with a violent kindergarterner!!!! I thought I would have a small group of children to be accountable for. Well there were so many parents that I only had Jonah! He, of course, had to be with Riley (his best friend ever). Riley's mom was there as well and we get along so that was fine. Riley's mom (I've discovered that when your child is in kindergarten you have no identity besides Jonah's mom, Riley's mom, etc.) got assigned another student. "No biggie," I thought to myself. Well this young man kept hitting me, not like just playfully but like punching. I ignored him at first, thinking it would make him stop. But he continued. I was starting to bruise so I turned around and said, "young man, if you hit me one more time, I will find Mrs. Long and you will sit in the bus!" He looked at me funny, but he stopped. Now, for those of you who know me well, know that I avoid confrontation at all costs. However, at this point I could not not say anything. Ah well. So the trip was very cold, most of the animals were hiding inside, and I got abused. But Jonah had a blast and I suppose that is all that matters.

YEE HAW

Well thanks everyone for the prayers. We are in! We signed the lease papers on Saturday morning and we move this coming Saturday!! I am SOOOO excited. I laid awake for three hours last night just thinking about it. I'll take pictures and post them soon!!!!

*biting my nails*

Well we go to meet with Curtis soon. Curtis is the man from church who is in charge of renting the blue house. He doesn't have three heads or anything. But we are looking so forward to moving......what if it doesn't happen?? What if for some reason we can't get the house? I believe with all my heart that God has been preparing us for that house, at this time in our lives. Why am I doubting?!?!! Anyway, say prayers please and I'll update you as soon as I can.

Now presenting the amazing Sydney

Alright so I've posted on how Sydney has an unusual talent for climbing. She's pretty amazing for a 14 month old. Yesterday topped it all off.

I was on the computer, reading blogs. (Of course, what else would I be doing?!!) Matt comes downstairs and casually asks, "Where's Syd?" I look up in confusion. "I thought she was with you." Dumb look on his face, "Um no." So we split up checking the obvious places first. We can hear her fussing at this point but still cannot locate her. Matt dashes out to the backyard where Molli is playing peacefully in the sandbox. "Molli, have you seen Sydney?" "No, daddy." Matt turned around and there was Sydney, hanging off the second floor balcony. Complete chaos erupted as we all tried to run up the stairs together. She's fine, praise the Lord. If she had let go she would have fallen to the ground, the hard cement patio. It makes me sick to my stomach jsut to think about it. But God is good and Sydney was once again rescued from disaster. I swear, if she lives to be two it will be a miracle.

Pj pictures
You've gotta love crazy haired pajama pictures! The girls were just playing and so I snapped this shot.

In other news, I am not well. I have been in a fog since last weekend. I am constantly tired and having sinus headaches 24/7. I've been living on Advil Cold and Sinus. I should just buy stock in the company! This is utterly frustrating as I have SOO much to do! We finalize the paperwork for the house tomorrow and we are hoping to move in next weekend. I have so much packing to do. And I just do not have the energy. Does anyone have any suggestions? And don't tell me to sleep more, I've been sleeping 10-12 hours a night and I still feel this way!!!! GGRRRR!

On a more positive note, Idol is almost over which means my life goes back to normal for a while! But let's face it, who's life is ever normal????

Misty

ok, so Misty had this on her blog and I worked so hard on it that I decided it deserved a place on my blog as well. Most of you read her blog as well, but oh well. The idea is to choose a band or a musician and answer the questions with their song titles.

Name of artist: Steven Curtis Chapman
Are you male or female: Maria
Describe yourself: God Follower
How do some people feel about you? Whatever
How do you feel about yourself? Speechless
Describe an ex boyfriend/girlfriend? Dive (you know who Joce!)
Describe current boyfriend/girlfriend (husband): All About Love
Where do you want to be? Where we belong
How do you live? Living for the moment
How do you love? Love you with my Life
Share some words of wisdom: Be Still and Know

Mother's Day

Well I am so glad that Mother's Day is over. It's just one of those days that I don't look forward to. I always get my hopes up so high, high enough that my poor husband can't even hope to come close to reaching them! Plus, it's on a Sunday which really just makes it harder. Sunday mornings are so stressful for us! So that didn't help. I was just in a deep purple funk all weekend. but I am very glad that last week is over. There was jsut too much stress for one week, with Molli's surgery and the huge mother/daughter banquet. Whew.....

Now I have to start packing...please pray! I hate moving!!!!

Cute Molli
Isn't she cute? she's all dressed up and ready for the Mother/ Daughter banquet. She looks so darling in this. Even with her hair chopped off and growing back crazy! She looks grown up to me all of a sudden. Is it possible that her surgery aged her??? Anyways, here's a couple pics of my pretty girl.

She can't hold still!!! 

another one 

*yawn*

Man, I am weary. I cannot believe how draining it was to go through the whole surgery thing. I mentioned to Matt as we were in the hospital waiting to go home, that I don't know how parents who have children in the hospital for long periods of time do it!!!! I would lose my mind. You can only read and watch TV for so long, you know?? Uck....

Meanwhile, we are in full swing for the mother/daughter banquet that is tomorrow night. It was all my idea and everyone backed me up and now as I look at the guest list of 140 women, I am about ready to burst into tears! I feel so weary. Can we really pull this off???? Where are we goin to put everyone? Will the wedding dress fashion show work? Can I MC it? My sister-in-law is coming into town for it and will be staying in our little attic with us and it's a disaster area! And I have no strength to clean it. If I didn't know better, I would think I am pregnant. but I'M NOT! For those of you who always think you know that! So, blah blah, there's my complaining.

Well I have two power point things to finish and wedding dresses to collect and a church to clean and kids to watch. Ah, for when life was simpler.....

Here she is, my big brave girl! We are home, thank goodness. I'm not sure I would choose to have a child have surgery at Mott's again. It was so crowded. We were in a room with three other people, a baby who screamed all night, a girl who throw up all night and another mother and daughter who fought the whole time!!! But, that's neither here nor there. The important thing is that she is fine. She's pretty sore, but in one piece. She wanted to ride her bike when she got home, I was like "NOOO!" So she's trying to take it easy. We'll see how long that lasts! Thanks for all your prayers!
Still smiling

Big sigh

Whew, well here we are in the hospital and everything went awesome! And let me tell you how cool it is that each bed has their own computer with internet!!!! Molli is doing great. The surgery was text book perfect. She came out of the anesethic great and is moving around and begging to eat. All good signs!!! Thank you soooo much for all of your prayers! More updates to follow!

Leaving

WEll it's 5:38 AM and we are headed out. Molli's surgery is at 9:30 this morning at Mott's children's hospital which is in U of M. She seems fine as she is sitting on my lap sort of half awake. She wants to talk about it and seems good. Please pray everyone. My apprehension grows as the minutes pass.

So worried

Tomorrow they will cut into my baby.....

I'm really struggling with this today. If it were a life saving procedure I wouldn't think twice about it. This is fairly elective surgery. I mean, we decided to do it so she wouldn't have kidney problems later in her life, but it wasn't life threatening. Did we make the right choice? She will be under full anestetic...what if she's allergic to it? We wouldn't know until it was too late! She's asked me all manner of questions, where are they going to cut my tummy? Will I have a tube in my arm? When can I go home? Will you be with me all the time? Can I take my lovey? I'm grateful that we can be with her when she falls asleep and there when she wakes up. At least she'll think we were there the whole time. Meanwhile, for the two hours that she's in there, I'll be pacing.

So whoever reads this blog, PLEASE be praying tomorrow........

Ahh, sunshine

I think today would have been utter diaster if the sun had not been out this morning......but, Praise the Lord, He knew I needed sunshine today.

so what's new with the Kurtz's?? Matt's new job continues to go well. He's doing training this week, today he got to see how chips are made, he was thrilled. We're still waiting to hear about the house. I'm hoping we can move the second week of May, we'll see. Molli's surgery is Tuesday, starting to worry about that a bit. I'm just trusting that God will be there, every step of the way. On a happy note, her gymnastics teacher wants her to skip the 4 year old class and go straight to the young fives class which is much more advanced. I guess that means she's good......she was so excited. It means she gts to be in the "big" gym. To me, it means more time and money. We'll see about that too! Emma continues to be trying. With the nice weather they are playing outside almost constantly and she cannot be bothered to come in and use the bathroom. So I feel like we are potty training all over again!!! AAAAHHHHH! I hope she gets the hang of it soon. Sydney is...crazy. She is my active child. Some of you are saying,"No way!" What? All my other children are so quiet and reserved! He he! But Sydney defies them all. She is all over. and she is so smart, figuring things out, how to get onto the top of the microwave, how to scale the pantry shelves to get a fruit snack, how to opent the back door just enough to escape. She reminds me of the velociraptors in Jurassic Park, who kept trying the fence for weakness....she's giving me gray hair!

And an update on Grandpa, he had a slight heart attack, but he's home now and feeling ok. He's fairly ornery so I guess he's back to normal!

well off to do my life....

Grandpa

My grandpa is in the hospital........

Today started like any other Monday, getting Noah on the bus, dragging Jonah out of bed for school, getting him ready while he angrily tells me that he doesn't go to school anymore, thinking ahead to Emma and Sydney's doctor's appointment this morning( will Emma have to get shots?!?!?!), taking Jonah to school, breathing a sigh of relief as he runs into the building having spotted a friend, driving home and taking the girls inside.

Then the phone rang.....

Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Carol were supposed to leave this morning for a trip to Atlanta so I was surprised that the caller ID said it was Grandma. It was Aunt Carol. "Mandi, Grandpa has taken 5 nitro glycerin pills and is still have chest pains. We're going to the ER."

Grandpa should have died about 6 times by now. God has kept him around, I'm so glad of that. But here we are again, faced with the fact that Grandpa's heart will just not last forever. It's been operating at 15% for the last 12 years. Sooner or later, it will just stop altogether. It's so selfish to think that he will always be here. We have been so blessed to have had him so close for so long. When we left to go to Nebraska to get our things and move here, Grandpa said to me, "Hurry back. I need my babies here." He means so much to them that the thought of trying to explain to them why Papa isn't here anymore just about kills me. This would be the closest death that they will be old enough to remember. How will we deal with that? How will they?

He's ok, they are keeping him overnight just for observation. Another close call. A little more time with the man we all love so dearly.......

Baby Emma
I got it to work!! So here she is, all of her hospital pictures are buried out in the carriage house, but this is one my mom had of her on the day we brought her home from the hospital. Man, it feels like so long ago!

Emma's birthday
I tried to get a baby picture on here, but Hello stopped working! But this is how Emma spent her third birthday - in time out where she finally fell asleep! Not a very good way to spend a birthday, but what are you going to do? I cannot believe it has been three years. I looked at her today in her Dora t-shirt and just thought she looked so grown up! I know I've said it before, but where does the time go??? She has always been my gentle one, unless engaged in full blown wrestling with Daddy or Unlce Josh where I'm pleased to say she can hold her own. She thinks so much about things, ponders. She loves other people so much. I love to watch her with Noah. She walks up to him and wraps her little arms around him and says, "You're my friend Noah. " Such a big heart. So here she is, my big three year old girl. And yet another step toward the growing up thing. Also, one year closer to being a teenager!!!!

Rain

It's raining......usually I complain about Michigan rain. No rain was one of the best thing about Nebraska, but everyone complained about it so much that it wasn't really always great. I was disappointed this morning when I got up and it was sunny.....weird huh? But now the sky is gray and I am rejoicing. I know, I need help....

Tomorrow is Emma's birthday, don't worry, there will be pictures and a sappy blog about the day she was born. But I can't stop looking at her and seeing how much she has grown even since last summer when we got here. We were looking at pictures last night and she just looks so very grownup. How can it be that she is so big??? Where did time go? Ok, enough sappiness, we'll save the rest for tomorrow.....gotta go clean :(

AWESOME!!!

Ok, so i've had very little sleep, lots of coffee and I am still on a high from last night! We went to see Steven Curtis Chapman with Casting Crowns and Chris Tomlin. OH MY WORD!!!!! It was phenominal.....and that's putting it mildly. Worshipping live with Chris Tomlin ( he wrote Forever, WE fall Down...etc) was..........can't even come up with a word. And we were worshipping with THOUSANDS of believers. It was fantastic. The whole concert was one big worship service. How awesome... and Steven's newest album is mostly worship stuff. There's a song that is the new anthem for my life. I can't get it out of my head....over and over I hear it. I'm writing out some of the lyrics below, get the album, it's awesome! Ok, gotta get some more coffee and Make More of Jesus today! WOOOOHOOOOO!

I wanna make much of you Jesus

I wanna make much of your love

I want to live today

to give You the praise

You alone are so worthy of

I wanna make much of your mercy

I wanna make much of your cross

Take my life

and let it be used to make much of You

Drag racing

So most of you know my little brother Noah and that he has CP. This is him in his wheelchair. Well my grandfather who lives up the road just got a power scooter. so yesterday, sfter Noah got off the bus from school, he and Grandpa drag raced up and down the alley. My Aunt Carol's house is just up the alley so they raced there and back anout 800 times! Of course Molli cried and cried that her legs worked and that she could not have a wheelchair.......hmmmm. Noah is signing "faster" to Grandpa as they prepare for another race. Noah's chair can go up to six miles an hour which is pretty fast for a wheelchair. (I think he beat Grandpa almost every time) So another tribute to spring, family and wheelchair drag racing.

Things I love

So here it is, my current list of things I love......

1. Old musicals
2. Meeting new friends to chat with on Messenger
3. Getting real phone calls
4. Getting e-mail from people who I haven't talked to in a long time
5. Kissing my children
6. Putting the kids to bed :)
7. Staying up late with Matt
8. Watching the girls make up games (Molli is ALWAYS in charge)
9. Seeing Emma play with Noah
10. Catching my kids being nice to each other
11. Waking up and Matt is still there
12. Living so close to my family
13. Having a small group who care so much about us
14. Waking up to birds singing
15. Listening to rain on the roof
and finally 16. Fitting into my clothes well!

Dinner

Tonight we are grilling out burgers and hotdogs and eating on the patio. Man, this is great! I've waited so long to do this again.

Tomorrow Mom and Dad come home from North Carolina.....this brings mixed feelings. It'll be great to have them home, we've missed them. On the other hand, it has been very nice having the house to ourselves. Ah well, hopefully in about 4 weeks, we'll be on our own again!

On a totally unrelated subject, I'm in a quandry as a parent. Today, Jonah broke a window. Yesterday I caught him throwing a golf ball at the house and bouncing it off. I asked him to stop because he would break a window. He obeyed, but today, as I'm dutifully folding laundry even though I'm dying to be outside planting flowers or doing anything outside because I hate laundry and folding socks which, with four young children takes hours......*deep breath* What was I tlaking about again?? Oh yes, Jonah. So as I was folding laundry I heard shattering glass. I bolted to the front and met Matt and we saw the window. I knew immediately that it had been Jonah with the golf ball (plus the perfect golf ball sized hole in the window gave it away too). So now, Matt and I don't know what to do about Jonah. We sent him to his room (this was at 12:30 PM and now it's 5:30 PM) He was told that he could come down for dinner but that he had to go back to his room right after dinner. Also he is not allowed to sleep in the attic with the girls and no television. Curse me, I am so bad at consistency. I feel that if I were more consistent with discipline things like this wouldn't happen. It's just so much easier to threaten sometimes than to actually punish. He's too big for a spanking, but that also seems like too quick a punishment for something serious. Will this punsihment work? Will he understand the severity of what he has done? And how do I explain to him that disobeying makes Jesus sad when I know that he has not asked Jesus to be his Savior??????

We love the park...really..... 

Yay for Spring! 

So tired.....

Well, we had an awesome weekend in Detriot with family. It was extremely tiring, but worth it! And thanks to those of you who made it possible for us to go (Mindy H.!!) As we were nearing Battle Creek, Matt says, "Man, it's good to be home." Amazingly I was thinking the same thing. And I even missed going to our church. BCC was awesome, as always, but I missed seeing our friends and familiar faces. I've NEVER felt that way about a church we've attended. And coming home was just so good. I couldn't wait to see Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Carol. The kids were so excited to show off their birthday clothes and stories from the weekend. What an awesome feeling to have a sense of belonging!

In other news, you'll all be happy to know that my doctor's appointment went off without a hitch and NO I AM NOT PREGNANT!!!! Just for those of you who I know were thinking that!!!

I love vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah.....I must admit that spending a week without having to get up and get kids ready for school is so awesome! After a long and fun weekend, it was so nice to just lay in bed and not rush to get up! The house is so quiet with Mom and Dad gone, feels weird to be here without them! And the weather has been just gorgeous, 75 today. We're heading to the park, wish the pool were open!!

Big news

Well big news on the Kurtz front....Matt got the job with Frito-Lay!!!!! Finally a real job with real hours and real pay! MAybe we can be grown up now. The other big news is that I think we've found a house. And the timing is awesome....God just knew that things here were getting just a tad strained and now this house opened up! Praise the Lord. I think we will be here about another month and then we should be able to move in. God is good!

We are heading to Detroit this weekend to see...everyone. We literally are seeing tons of people. It should be tons of fun! Plus we get to borrow Tim and Mindy's brand new van for the trip since our van is sick.....ugh. I hate cars, why did we get rid of horses and buggies again?!?!? Ah well.....but how awesome to have friends that would give you whatever you need, whenever you need it. What an fabulous spiritual gift that is!

Well this blog is so random...sorry I'm a bit scatterbrained today!

You're kidding.....

So this morning I go for my annual pap smear.......those of you women who read this will understand how I am feeling. There's just something about someone looking in places that realy shouldn't be seen. Now, I'm all for it if I am unconscious. But, while I am wide awake and just laying there it is a bit awkward. However, it is necessary I suppose so I will suck it up and do it.

And big news on the hosue hunt.....a house that our church owns is coming up for rent in May......Lord, could this be it????!?!?!?!?!!

Here are the girls, SOOOO excited to be outside they can hardly stand it. We went to the park yesterday and the kids' eyes got so big as we pulled up. "Mom, can we really play at the park??? It's warm enough??? there's no mud????" They flew out of the car and didn't stop moving for two hours. Thank you Lord for Spring!
Yay for Spring part 2

As I walked Noah out to the bus this morning, I spotted this.....it just made my heart soar. The Lord knew I couldn't handle anymore cold, cold weather and that my children would be certifiable if not allowed to run and play outdoors. Bring it on!!!!!
Yay for spring!

The Easter bunny

It is somewhat disturbing to me in our day and time that Easter is no longer sacred. On Wednesday night I looked out over the 30 kids that I work with, all excited about sharing the story of Jesus rising from the dead. It's one of the most significant things in a believer's life!!!!! I asked a simnple question, "Who can tell me what Sunday is?" A little girl answered, "Easter, teacher." * happy sigh* (the warm fuzzies are coming on....) "Ok, good. And who can tell me what happened on Easter?" (Preparing myself for the wonderful, spiritual answer.....) * another happy sigh* "Why, the Easter bunny brought Jesus candy, teacher!" (earth shattering silence as all the other teachers look at me, waiting to see how I will respond to said answer...) "Well.......let's back up....." So we went back through Good Friday and why Jesus had to die and how He rose from the dead (music swelling...) so that He could conquer death.....it was awesome. We've had three kids accept the Lord in the last three months nad as I looked out over the faces who were watching me with (mostly) rapt atttention, I noticed one little girl. She acccepted the Lord last Wednesday night. She came to church for the first time on a Sunday last week. When I hugged her and told her that I was surprised to see her, she replied, "Well I asked Jesus into my heart and the bible says you need to go to church, so here I am." Ah, to have a child's simple grasp of Jesus!!!!! Anyway, back to Wednesday, I looked out and spotted her. Her eyes were brimming with tears and I knew she understood exactly what I was talking about. Praise the Lord for even this one girl who will see Easter through entirely new eyes!!!

Spiritual Awakenings

Man, I am tired this morning. Why is it that when you make huge steps in your spiritual life it is SO tiring? God grabbed me by the throat yesterday and forced me to my knees on an area of my life that has controled my life for a very long time. It all started with church yesterday......

I was just minding my own business, singing on the worship team. Our last song was called, Surrender. It's an awesome song and, as I'm singing it, I realize that I am supposed to surrender. I pushed the Spirit away, thinking, not now! Then we went to small group last night and the very subject we were talking about was the one I needed to release! God is good. So I burst into tears (must be God because I don't usually cry about spiritual things!) and reveal my secrets to my small group. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I always want everyone to think that I have it all together, that I am a good christian, a good mom, wife, etc. But I couldn't keep up the mask anymore. God forced me to get real with my group. And no one condemmed me, they surrounded me with love, prayer and support. God is so good. And this morning I awoke to the sun in my window, a reminder that God's mercy is new EVERY morning. I will struggle with this every day, but I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Being from an Irish family this day has been especially.......green. We always have green milk first thing in the morning (Jonah took one look and said "I am NOT drinking that!) the of course there's the various green food throughout the day, the pinches if,God forbid, you aren't wearing green, and of course the green beer at the end of the day. So Happy St. Pats to all ye Irish and those who wish they were!

*sigh*

Well now Molli has strep....does it never end?! Man, I wish I could earn frequent flier miles from going to the doctor! But praise the Lord for the sunshine and the warmer weather. It has lifted the dark cloud over my head!!! And Sydney has finally stopped yelling for what she wants and is using her sign language! Emma is finally potty trained and I think Molli has lost her binky for good (SHHHHH!) So all in all, I know that I know that God is good and always has me in His hands, which are much larger than mine!

Grrrr

Well no surgery this week, Molli held out to the last minute and then got croup. All in all it has been an awful week in this house. Mom had influenza and was flat on her back all week, Noah and Jonah were home all week with sickness, Sydney was getting better, Emma got croup, and then Matt got sick. And to top it all off, our transmission went out in the van so we now have no vehicle. I am so weary in soul and spirit right now. I'm the closest to depression that I've ever been. The weather doesn't help either. Lord, what are you doing here????What are You trying to teach me???

So Miss Sydney has discovered Dora......I'm not entirely sure that this is a good thing. She does look pretty cute in that little chair staring up at the television like it's the first time she's even noticed it was there! And so it begins.......
uh oh

Idol anyone?

Ok, so there's all this talk about Lost...well I wish I would have seen it from the beginning because I've caught parts of a couple of episodes and it seems really good. This year I promised myself (along with my m0ther) that we would NOT get swept up in and involved in Idol. Of course Aunt Carol moved to town and sucked us all in. We were rather willing, naturally. So is there anyone else out there who is sucked in? (Joce, do you wish you knew what we are talking about?!) I also must confess that Tuesdays are particularly pesky because of another new show that I adore. House MD. This is a brillant show and Hugh Laurie is amazing. I was uninterested at first since how good could a show be where the star was Stuart Little's dad?? I mean, come on. But it is one the best shows I have seen in a long time. Check it out!

So where is the justice when your baby girl has to miss her own first birthday because she is sick?? No cake smashing, no first presents, no nothing. I know she doesn't know that it was her birthday, but I know and somehow that matter to me. We always celebrated our birthdays on the actual day, not the weekend after, what fun is that? Anyone else agree?

Aww 

My Baby

One year ago today this was my Sydney, brand new and pink. I can hardly believe it has been a year already. She is so big and grown up. Why do you think God designed it so that the infant stage was so short and the toddler phase lasts forever??!!! I don't understand that one, but it's sad to me (in an odd way) that there are no more Kurtz babies.......

Worried.....

Two weeks from today is Molli's surgery. There are moments when I know that everything will be fine. Other moments I freak out and can't imagine watching them take my daughter behind those double doors with the intention of cutting her open. God is all powerful and He can certainly hold Molli in His hands and I know He will. I just can't bear the thought of them cutting her open!!!!!!