How to begin? Last night I was up late. Matt had to get up at 1:30 so he was in bed by 8 as were the children. So I spent some time on the computer chatting and then watched a movie. It wasn't a scary movie, actually it was a really cheesy ABC Family movie. It was 11:30 when I headed to bed. I don't know what happened. As I was lying there, I was drenched with sweat while this fear overtook me. I was convinced that if I looked at the doorway of my bedroom there would be someone standing there waiting to hurt us. I haven't felt this way since we lived in Nebraska. I felt that almost every night there. But since we moved into this house, I have slept soundly every night, except when I am catching barf that it. But last night it consumed me. I woke Matt up and we prayed. Yet it lingered. Could there have been evil lurking? There's an empty house one down from us and it always gives me the creeps. So I did not sleep well. Then Matt left in the middle of the night and it was even worse. Satan really had my number last night. So I was dead tired when I woke up this morning.
Why do Sundays seem to be the most hectic, chaotic days??? You'd think on a day when you are going to worship our awesome God it would just be an awesome experience. Well I was super tired this morning, we got a late start and Matt wasn't home. When Matt works on Sundays, it always increases my stress level. With minimal stress, I got everyone showered dressed and out the door in 45 minutes. Then we had to run to the store. Stress level increasing as children are clamoring for things. Then we got to church and I was setting up Kafe Koinonia (coffee and doughnuts) and Sydney dumps strawberry milk all over the carpet. Stress level mounting. Then Emma dumps all her sprinkles from her donut all over the carpet. Stress level climbing. Then Sydney pulls over a plant and the water and foamy green stuff go everywhere. I lost it. Once I found my sanity, it was time to go into the sanctuary for worship team practice. The children were running/screaming through the sanctuary. AHHHHHHHHHHH! So my Sunday morning was stressful and not very worshipful at all. Ugh.
*deep breath* I am however going to relax this afternoon and prepare my heart for this evening and we'll try it again :)
4 comments:
Hang in there, Mandi. Take a nap and start fresh this evening :)
I really sympathize with you, Mandi. I had a similar horrible night about a month ago, but I am the one to be blamed - I had watched a scary movie (White Noise)a week or so before my long night and it finally caught up with me. I tried everything to fall asleep but every time I opened my eyes, I saw these creepy dementor shadow things. An extremely empathetic friend of mine who lives up the street said she was up that same night worrying to beat the band, taking TUMS and checking on her kids time after time. She finally blamed her anxieties on me, and advised I no longer watch horror flicks.
DONE!
what an awful feeling..
i have never had that feeling but I am sure it must be awful
not to go all psuedo religious on you but i have had that feeling many times and i do believe there is a cause. it is seldom something we choose...
just hang in there, and then next time remember to pray with authority and hold fast to faith that your safety is in Jesus...
also... just a thought, not neccesarily advice, but a thought: have you ever thought of looking up history on the house that gives you the creeps? i believe education is incredibly powerful and if it causes your spirit to be uneasy you need to determine whether it is simply because it is dark and empty or if the feeling is something more....
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