Summer is trudging on in the Kurtz home. We've finally had some warmer weather so being able to send the kids outside to play has been a blessing. And I am always grateful for Grandma's pool. I'm going to get a lot of reading done this summer :)

I have been debating whether or not to blog about this, but I really feel like I need to write it down for myself. It's just a bonus that you all can read it as well :)

Before the purchase of our HUGE blessing, the BIG van as the kids call it, Matt and I sat down to really talk through our finances. Now I will come right out and admit that this is a HUGE area of struggle for me. I love to buy things. Love it. I love walking into a store and buying things, not for me but for my kids, Matt, or whoever. I also love to eat out. It's oh so easy to not grocery shop and pull into a McDonald's for dinner.Because of these behaviors and others, we have struggled financially for most of our married lives. Our credit is atrocious and we are completely to blame. We've had many people come along side of us and help us, but it wasn't until recently that I realized that, if I didn't change my heart and my actions, things would never change. I wish I could say that I was miraculously healed of wasteful spending. That is NOT the case. But I am committed to submitting to my husband, to living on a budget, and to saving money. I will not pretend that this will be easy. It will NOT. But I believe that God has called me to obedience, to surrender, and to submission.

The biggest part of this is tithing. We have not tithed regularly, ever. And I have been hot over the head recently that this is a sin. Everything we have is God's. That includes every penny of our money. And by not tithing, I am robbing God. Robbing Him. God forgive me. It just always seemed that we needed that money for groceries or gas. But it was all just an excuse. This Sunday, I was reminded that God doesn't need my dollars, He needs and wants my submission and my obedience. I need to tithe because He told me to. Because it's part of my worship to Him. That I could put money in the plate every week, but if my heart was hard, that it wouldn't matter. And that I cannot tithe with the expectation that if I give Him money, He's going to give me something. I need to lay my offering at His feet, even if nothing else happens, I'll know that I obeyed and worshipped my Savior. This has been huge for me. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it, but I will tell you that this Sunday, I was shaking with the excitement of placing our offering in the plate. Who knew being obedient could feel so right? :)