Alright, will someone please tell me when it gets better??? When do my emotions go back to normal? When will he sleep for more than 1 1/2 hour stretches at night?? When will my boobs stop hurting??? (sorry, that was slightly graphic!) Sorry, just feeling slightly tired and it appears to be affecting many things.....
Yesterday was awful. I had braced myself for it and yet it still hit me like a ton of bricks. My brother left yesterday for Iraq. He's going to be there for 14 months. I thought I had dealt with it, however, I lost it. First, I missed his last call so I didn't even have a chance to say good-bye which broke my heart. Then he left me a message telling me he loved me and he would be in contact as soon as he could. I just wept. All I could think about was him getting on that bus, watching his wife and four children out of the window as he drove away, not knowing when he would see them again, knowing that he would miss a year and a half of their lives.....made my sadness seem obsolete. However, he's my brother. The one I grew up with. We're 14 months apart...even though there was a time where we didn't speak, he never stopped being my big, little brother. And thinking of his wonderful family, without him for so long. And they are so far away in Alaska, I can't even offer to help. So if you all think of it, will you remember my brother, Tigger? We're praying for his protection, not just physical, but emotional and spiritual as well. Iraq seems to be such a dark place spiritually and being away from accountability and Christian friends....also, having to deal with the fact that he might have to take someone else's life....I can't imagine wrapping my mind around that one. Plus he is a sergeant, so he has men underneath him. When I asked him if he was scared his answer was yes. He said he was most afraid of losing one of his men or a friend. I asked him if he was scared about not coming back, he replied no. He knew where he was headed so that was not fearful for him at all. Sorry, my thoughts are so jumbled right now...
5 comments:
Mandi, that's a tough one to swallow any day, much less when you are already emotional from having a newborn that doesn't sleep. I am so sorry. I will certainly pray for you and your brother and his family.
mandi I have been right in your shoes. my brother had just gotten married and left his new bride and was swept away to Iraq. He's back now (it's been a few years) and they are expecting their first child. Two things that kept my family sane while he was there was how he got to go to a weekly protestant church service on base...he even helped lead worship sometimes! And, somewhere there in Baghdad there is this computer network where they can get on webcams. That was the coolest getting to actually talk to him halfway across the globe. We will certainly keep Tigger, his wife and kids lifted up in prayer...
aww, I am sorry your having such a rough time Mandi.
I wish you a good nights sleep, less booby pain, and a safe trip to and from Iraq..
there..sleep well sweety:)
I was a little choked up reading your post and I have no hormonal issues to speak of.
I think you are just a wonderfully empathetic person and a very lucky sister to have such admiration for your big little brother (and his family). My prayers are with Tigger and his family (even his sleep-deprived sis!)
There was nothing 'jumbled' about those thoughts. They were precise.
I'll pray for your brother. Be proud of him. I am.
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