Truly, this has been the longest week of my life. It all seemed to be in slow motion somehow.

Saturday, April 1 - My cousins flew in for a short weekend visit, we all planned a big meal at moms. My family and I headed out shopping for a bit before the dinner so my cousins had time to visit with Grandpa. As we enter the last store, my cell phone rings. It's my sister. "they're calling everyone to the hospital....grandpa is failing." We flew to the hospital, Matt dropping me at the door and rushing to mom's to watch Noah so my dad can come. We spend all day waiting....Just waiting, praying that Grandpa will hold on till my uncle can get there. At 7:45, we knew we were close to the end. So all 10 of us crowded around his bed and just let the tears fall, all of us taking turns saying good-bye. My dad decided to read some Psalms, all the while his heart beat is going slower and slower. As soon as my dad said the Amen of the last Psalm, Grandpa's heart stopped beating, as if he was waiting. I've never watched anyone die. My heart just broke. We spent another hour there saying good-bye and making arrangements. MY uncle arrived, just 8 minutes after it had happened. Then we went to my mom's house where we all sat dazed, not quite sure what to do or say.

Sunday, April 2 - My kids ambushed my bed at 6:30 AM. I snuggled them all close to me and told them about Papa. They had a million questions and tears. Hardest thing I have ever done. Most of us decided we couldn't handle going to church and dealing with people there yet. So we had breakfast together and made all the phone calls, calling all relatives from all over the country. The Red Cross came through for us and my brother was able to get emergency leave. We started coordinating who would go to what airport on what day to get who. Another draining day as the pain was still so raw and no one had really slept.

Monday, April 3 - They began to arrive. As more and more family poured in, the harder it became. We had not been all together since my Aunt Barb had died five years ago. Many of them had not met my children. I drove to Detroit at 11:30 PM to get my brother. Grandma commented that she knew something good would come out of this, part of it being able to see Tigger, he leaves for Iraq in October.

Tuesday, April 4 - More family pours in. The viewing is this night. Most of the cousins had not seen Grandpa. My brother Josh who wears nothing but black, wore a Hawaiian shirt. We all knew Grandpa would have laughed. He looked so very different, nothing of the strong, warm, vibrant man I knew. You could still see the bruises on his face where the respirator tape had been. Very sad, we went home and ate chocolate.

Wednesday, April 5- Most of us woke up feeling ancy and anxious. We knew this day would be hardest of all. WE dressed carefully as if Grandpa would know. I'll never forget walking up the steps in the church and the expressions on my children's faces as they saw the coffin for the first time. Heartwrenching. Jonah had found a smooth rock and written, I love you Papa on it. He put it in the coffin. After the girls has said good bye they scampered off to play. Jonah stuck close however, going up to the coffin often to touch his arm or his hair. Just broke my heart. We filed in for the service which was wonderful. We spent more time laughing than crying which I think is a huge testimony of who he was. Jonah read a letter he had written....again, sobbing. I spoke as well, or as well as I could through tears. We all made it through the service and were able to keep it together as the boy cousins carried the coffin to the hearse and we all watched it drive away.

And there we are.....We sadly said good-bye to everyone as they departed once again. Now we go about the dailyness of him being gone. Helping my grandma survive each long day, planting his flowers that he had started from seed, spreading his ashes in his beloved garden, reminding the kids that he's gone every time they ask, and just letting life go on.