There comes a time in the lives of men....or in my case, women...oh wait someone already wrote that...

Tonight I am contemplative. There is so much going on for me right now. Most it of I cannot, no, will not share on here....I don't trust who may or may not read this blog. But there's a whole ton of stuff that I am dealing with. Some of it is deep, painful and raw...some of it is stupid human games and silliness. It all feels heavy though. So today it made me take a long look at how I deal with stress.....

1. I talk to myself. Actually I talk to the people who I am mad at or who have hurt me. Except I do it in the mirror. And I am very mean.

2. I eat. Why oh why is this???? Why do I always turn to food like it's somehow going to make me feel better about myself? Yes, my Burger King lunch was delicious, but were the 12,000 calories worth it? Did it fix anything? No.

3. I cry. Not a lot, but there are moments when I feel so overwhelmed that I cannot help it. I used to think that crying was a sign of weakness.....now I know, sometimes I just need to let the tears flow.

4. I laugh. It's really bizarre....sometimes, the stress just makes me laugh out loud and by loud, I mean LOUD. People think I'm cracked out and try to commit me to the looney bin. I just get rolling and can't help myself....everything is hilarious.

5. I shut down. I go into a "coma", if you will. I slap on a happy face and literally shut down. No one can hurt me that way.

6. And finally I heal. I realize that my life is not over, that I am surrounded by people who love and affirm me and I know I can get out of bed tomorrow. One of my favorite quotes is, "Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it". I cling to that....it's all going to be ok.