Wednesday, August 13, 2008

So what is it exactly that makes a mother snap?

I am, as anyone close to me will tell you, one the most impatient people on the face of the planet. I can't stand waiting for ANYTHING!! And yet, most of the time, where my children are concerned I am patient. Now don't get me wrong, there are times when looking for one shoe so we can leave drives me to the point of insanity. Or waiting for Emma to go and get, "Just one more thing Mom!" makes me crazy. Yet, I hold it together....till last night.

Noah had asked to come and spend the night. I was thrilled that he could be doing such a thing so soon after his surgery. I had some trepidation as I was worried that something could happen to him in my care and it would be awful. Or that one of my, or several of my rough and tumble kids would do something to him. But we pressed on anyway. The evening was great. We broke out the Wii and had tournaments (I was the champ, by the way). It was time to get ready for bed. We blew up the big air mattress for Noah to sleep on and the girls arranged themselves on the couches and floor. We even turned on the Olympics and the kids were awestruck by the synchronized divers. All of sudden, someone put a nickel in the girls. They were yelling, all trying to be heard over the other, jumping on the couches, jumping on the air mattress...etc. It was insane. I kept my cool and repeatedly told them to settle down. I was getting Noah ready for bed and realized I had left his diapers in the van. I asked Emma to go and fetch them. While I was waiting, Sydney slipped off of the air mattress she was bouncing on (after having been told numerous times to stop) and landed very near Noah's head. I looked at her sternly and told her to knock it off. Now I realize that Emma has jumped on and is riding her bike as opposed to getting said diapers. I begin to lose it. I bellow for Emma to get in here and she tells me she can't find the diapers. So I send Molli. As I turn back to Noah, Sydney falls off of the air mattress(that's right, she had NOT stopped as instructed) and landed on Noah's head. That was it. I absolutely fell apart. I screamed...and I don't mean yelled. I SCREAMED at Sydney, spanked her way too hard and sent her to her room. I screamed for Molli to get the %&*$&*%$ diapers already. She can't find them either. I storm out to the car myself, get the diapers and storm back in. Matt had jumped in as I had went outside and all the girls were now upstairs crying. As I sank in front of Noah, I lost it. He was crying and very upset. His lip was bleeding from Syd's body crashing on him. I sat him up and just held him. We just cried together. I finally got him and I calmed down and he asked to go home. Who would want to stay with a psychotic sister anyway?

I took my self upstairs and gathered my girls into my arms. Fresh tears were issued all around as I asked for their forgiveness for my behavior. I took a now calm Noah home and explained to my mother how he was almost debrained by my wild children. More tears of course. She was great and we got Noah tucked in. I stopped on the way home for ice cream. That makes everything better.

So what is it that brings a mother to the point of breaking?

1 comment:

Karin said...

Having Kids! I am sorry you had such a bad night. I have come to realize that having kid's is a mixed bag and somedays they are the most wonderful sweet thoughtful children ever and other days they are terrible. Just breath in a moment the wind will change and you will have different children.