Friday, March 14, 2008

Let it be known that this day, March 14, 2008, I, Mandi K, have won the coveted parent of the year award. Here's how the award was won...

Emma, Thomas and I arrived at Sydney's school to pick her up. The girls took off for the car already fighting about who would sit in the front (ok, so no children should be in the front...but that was only the beginning..)By the time I reached the car, they were kicking, screaming, hitting, etc. I broke up the fight and informed them that they would now both sit in the back. Emma launches into "fit" mode. She began screaming and stomping her feet. I scooped her up and placed her in the car. She proceeded to continue the fit. I just ignored her. We pulled into McDonalds so Sydney could use some of her birthday money on a yogurt. The screaming from the back increased as Emma howled that she had wanted to go to Burger King. I informed her that she would write sentences when we got home. She didn't stop. I then warned her that if she didn't stop I would take her lovey(aka her favorite blanket that she cannot sleep without) away for the night. Surprise, surprise..she didn't stop. So, when we arrived home, I scooted inside and removed her blanket from her bed and hid it. Then the fun began....

She threw herself on the kitchen floor and was shrieking and kicking. I hauled her to her room. She was hysterical. I called Matt and he could hear her while I was in the living room. I went upstairs to tell her she needed to get ready for school. She refused, so I dressed her myself. Then I pulled her down stairs and put her coat and boots on. Remember now, that she is still screaming wildly and flailing. I pulled her down the driveway. Meanwhile she has lost her lovey for 2 days now and has been told that she will not be going to the Daddy/Daughter dance tomorrow night. The bus pulls up and she throws herself on the ground and refuses to get on the bus. I carry her onto the bus and put her in a seat. THe bus driver reassures me that it'll be fine but I followed them to school, just to make sure. As the bus pulled away from my driveway, I fell apart. I don't know what in the world would make my beautiful, funny Emma act this way. I felt like the worst parent ever because I clearly had no control. At one point I even considered giving her the stupid blanket back just to get her to stop. BUt I have been trying SOO very hard to be consistent and to follow through with my threats. I'm desperately sad that she can't go to the dance, something she has been looking forward to for weeks. I just felt there had to be serious consequences for her actions today. I know it will start again when she gets home and realizes that she doesn't get her lovey. oh boy....well that's the tale that won me the award!

I'd like to thank....

4 comments:

kelli said...

Oh Mandi, you poor thing. I'm sorry you had such a rough day. If you want some great books to read that help out with this stuff, let me know. I have lots of suggestions.

True_Floridian Momma said...

ahhh, the behind-the-scenes look at what really goes on in mommyland. So understand days like this.....

I think you did wonderfully to follow through with her consequences, that's awesome and deserves an award solely based on that :)

We spank, but that's us, to each their own. I love your idea of taking away the blankie, we have security items as well and I think this is a super clever idea....

hope it's going better for you :)

Mandi said...

Kelli - Thanks for the sympathy...after I re-read it I sounded like such a whiner..so many parents deal with this and worse every day. Any suggestions are welcome though!

Ang- Thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes I think my kids would have been so much better off if I had just stuck to my guns...it's so easy to just give up. We spank too, with our younger ones and I failed to mention that I did spank Emma, to no avail! We made it through night one without the blanket...we'll see what happens today!

kelli said...

You are not a whiner, every mom feels this way at various times. I lost it with Noah yesterday!

I certainly don't have all the answers, but I do know that I have an arsenol of books and good friends that I rely on when I get to a point of just not knowing what to do. Here are a few of my faves-

Love and Logic-while it's a bit extreme for my taste, what I like is the "natural consequences" for a kids actions and the idea that it's okay to make them wait for a punishment. It's torture when a kid hears "right now I am too upset to give a punishment, I'll get back to you with one later..." Works like a charm.

Conscious Discipline by Becky Bailey. She has some great techniques for diffusing a situation. Such as a "calming corner" that kids can put themselves into when the feel out of control.

The five Love Languages for kids-this really helped me tune into my kids unique personalities. It's pretty popular, so you have probably heard of it.