Wednesday, March 03, 2010

OK, I'm sitting here crying so I will blow my nose and start with the positive....

- the end of this pregnancy is near. Not near enough, but near. I am fairy miserable, finding it near impossible to complete even the simplest of tasks, not sleeping, and struggling between my constant craving of sugar and my blood sugar levels! I said to Matt last night, "I hate being pregnant, at the end!" He lowered his book and said, "Honey, then why have you done it six times???" Touche`.

Oh wait, this was supposed to be the positive stuff....

I have an ultrasound on Tuesday to take a peek and see how big our little man is. I haven't had one since our 18 week one so I am anxious to see him again! He's very active and the kids think it is hilarious to watch my belly shift and roll as he tries to take over yet another square inch of my abdomen :) My beautiful friends have decided to throw me a "Sixth baby party", I refused to let them call it a shower as it seems a bit silly to throw a shower for a SIXTH baby! But the thought was so sweet and I am looking forward to celebrating Liam with them on Sunday. And eat cake, of course!

Spring is near. I can feel it. This is the third morning in a row that I have awoken to sunshine. It's coming just in time!

So why am I crying? Well that would be my youngest daughter, Sydney. Tomorrow is her birthday, the big 6. There were times, honestly, that I wasn't sure she'd make it to 6. And lately, that feeling has been even stronger. We've slammed into quite a season with her of backtalk and disobedience and drama and it has been so tough. I'm not sure if it's because I am pregnant or what, but for some reason, she pushes a button in me and it undoes me. I tend to be somewhat patient with our children, but where Sydney is concerned, I lose it. I have zero tolerance for backtalk. well for all of it really, but I just snap. She makes me want to lash our irrationally. I know this is just a season, but boy, am I ready for the season to change!!! So as I pushed her out the back door screaming this morning, I sat down and just cried. I know there is a lesson here....just trying to find it :)

Ah, well I feel better now.....blogging can be so therapeutic and I really couldn't fit all this onto my Facebook status :) I'll leave you with a picture of what I found outside my bedroom door the other morning. Thomas is excited about Liam!



2 comments:

Misty said...

oh, my friend... I have no wisdom to offer. I'm NOT pregnant and backtalk is my undoing. Genny is a button pusher, for sure...

Unknown said...

My 5 year sounds a lot like you 6 year old!! Maybe it is an age thing, sometimes I just have to walk away to I don't do or say something I will instantly regret.

Here's to hoping it is just a phase!!!


Good luck with the end of being prego. I have a friend that is a doula and she always told me the last month of pregnancy is nothing but torture for the mom so she will actually look forward to labor and delivery!!! :) So very true!